Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Technology Hates Ashley Sawyer

More trashy MySpace fun courtesy from a Massachusetts Woman:

27-year-old Ashley Sawyer, of Gloucester has just about had the worst year anyone could possibly have.

First she was fired from her Dunkin' Donuts job when her boss caught her stealing $115.00 from the till. After her boss confronted her about it, Sawyer sent a text message back pleading him not to call the police. He did.

Then in June she was was charged with threatening to kill a friend of hers after she used her cell phone to leave a disturbing message on the woman's voicemail saying, "I'll kill you". Apparently in that same message Sawyer had accused her friend of tampering with her MySpace page.

Now I don't know if the reason she wanted to kill her friend was because of the MySpace incident or some other reason but it should probably be clear for Sawyer by now that her cell phone most definitely hates her.

It's a wild theory, but let's go with it.

I mean really, it didn't come through for her when she tried to get out of those embezzlement charges, did it? No it sure didn't, and it also got her into a little bit of trouble with that whole "I'll kill you" voicemail thing.

So I don't understand why she just doesn't throw the stupid thing away.

Sawyer if your reading this, please do yourself a favor and throw it in the water or something. Drown it, beat it or bury it. Hell, set it on fire!

Oh, actually don't do that...

Better yet, why not just run over the damn thing or drive to Boston and drop it from the John Hancock Tower. There's really no need for it anyway. Once you get rid of it, things will surly get better in your life...I promise.

Just take comfort in the fact that the recent problems in your life don't at all stem from a nasty ill-mannered lazy vindictive lifestyle that you've been living.


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